An un-love poem isn’t a poem of hate, exactly — that might be a bit too shrill or boring. It’s more like a poem of sarcastic dislike.
My Love, can’t you see my
plight
I don’t believe in love at
first sight
I am right, yet you proved me
wrong
Falling for me; in no time
Out of sheer delight
You are silly, you make me
wry
I still do not mind
Your humor is filled with
lust
Yet I don’t show my disgust
You are like a button
Stuck in my eye
And you say love is blind
I wail and I whine
You say love is bitter-sweet
Day and night
I like my personal space
But you don’t give me any
You justify by saying
We are each other’s destiny
You hover around me
All day long
From sunshine to twilight
From dusk to dawn
I droop and I yawn
Yet you don’t leave my side
You stay with me throughout
I don’t want to hangout
Please understand.
Why don’t you for a change
Hold some other stuff prime?
Why don’t you hide from my
sight?
So that I don’t chide
I beseech you
Not to take me for a ride
This time around;
Not to embrace me
With your arms open wide
Oh my Love, can’t you hear
What I have to say
Or does everything
Fall on your deaf ear?
You are so near
I may die of asphyxia
Oh my dear, I truly fear.
Don’t stay so near
As they say distance
Increases love
And multiplies your verve!
Too much of anything or everything is not good. Nice & beautiful composition.
ReplyDeleteYes Arumugam sir, excess of everything is bad. I really enjoyed writing this prompt from NaPoWriMo.
DeleteThank you for the appreciation. :)
Very well composed poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you Fayaz Sir :)
Deleteshowing completely different worldview which is so true...sarcasm at its best!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Vivek. :)
DeleteThat's creativity at its best. I haven't read anything like that ever before. That is creativity in true sense. Hats off to you for writing such piece. Loved it completely. Keep writing dear. You are just warming up I guess. I see great things coming.
ReplyDeleteHmm good to know about your vision, even I hope the same. Thanx for liking it and the best part is I enjoyed writing this and felt good! Glad that you found it creative. :)
DeleteI am glad to have discovered your blog ..good composition , keep sharing :)
ReplyDeleteThanx for such a beautiful compliment:)
DeleteLove always respect the other's personal space. otherwise it is not love.
ReplyDeleteYes that is true.
DeleteBeautiful composition.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rajesh! :)
Deletewithout your own personal space,love can truly become cumbersome,very well written,it brings out the feeling so aptly
ReplyDeleteYou are vry right Sid !
Deletereally gud !!!!
ReplyDeleteur each sentence brings out d emotions n felings in its true colour...
<3 <3
Thanx Apeksha Deep. Keep visiting :)
Deletepossessiveness.......
ReplyDeleteHmm that is what makes love repulsive!
DeleteWe all need our space!
ReplyDeleteOh yes we do!
DeleteThis is my favorite part:
ReplyDelete"You are like a button
Stuck in my eye"
Ha ha ha, thank you!
DeleteThe yearnings and the caution of love need a balance. You've cleverly provided a variety of scenario. Beautifully expressed Kislaya!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thank you Hank, you yourself have written a lovely poem.
DeleteThis is very well done, depicting the very suffocation of obsession and stalking.
ReplyDeleteYes very true and this infact instills fear in the minds and does not evoke love in any way!
DeleteThanx for visiting!
Love your blog, first time here, thanks to Real Toads!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like my first marriage, ha ha. Truly, too much of a bad thing can be disastrous. Like a seesaw overloaded on one side, and you dangling in the air. The best lines, for me: You are like a button / Stuck in my eye / And you say love is blind
Refreshing and funny in its way! Thanks, Amy
Thanx for sharing yor views Amy, it was nice to know that you have taken things in a different light and you have moved on learning from the experience.
DeleteThanx for visiting, take care :)
I like it, Kislaya. It sounds a lot like Mrs. Jim and me, a couple of young almost middle aged kids when we met. I was back in school and had to tell her that I didn't have time for doing a lot courting???) with her. She could come watch me bowl on Frida nights with my work group and have a half day Saturday or Sunday. Or we could get married.
ReplyDeletee
Forty years we are still married. Yesterday we both played golf at different courses with a group of our own sex. We differ, stay a distance, or come close as the situation sees fit.
Thank you for peeking in on my poem. I am very sorry for being so late in returning your commment.
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Hi Jim, that was so nice of you to share your real life experience, God bless your married life, sometimes I guess it is not important to be similar in all respects but we should learn to respect others freedom and personal space, love is a chemistry that involves special two and each couple has a different way of defining it :)
DeleteThanx for sharing your thoughts and please do not apolozize, as I do jot mind!
Take care and regards :)
Amazing lines Kislaya .. shows what does too much of love to the one who has to go through the possessive inquires . But do we think what this possessive partner may be thinking ? Few lines on behalf of the possessive lover who may be possessive but yet a lover before !! Here it goes :
ReplyDeletetoo close is cosy ..
too close, smothers..as well
too much of love..
affection indeed,but bothers as well.
know i not what you mean?
do i what but..i consider you serene
for me you're the goddess
my deity of passionate love..
my kid, whom I dare not see..
something or someone hurt..
now if thats too much love ..
and if that makes you numb..
senseless i feel, being complained,
my love is possessive and dumb.
Oh dear, My Love, My life..
I try staying away as well..
I try leaving you on your own..
but every time I fail..
But dont you worry
Day by Day I am summoning up my guts..
I will take away all your sorrows ..
the guy who drives you nuts.
Too much of love ..
yes indeed, or I have none.
I carve my way out of your life..
for some man; rational one !!
For now that I leave,
leave once and for all..
I promise not to smother..
but my love for you will remain..
i hope that shouldn't bother..
Jack(ed) R ;)
Nitesh urf Jack, you are very versatile individual brimming with creativity, and I liked the perspective in you to look at things from different angles and viewpoints. To stereotype is the worst thing that we do.
DeleteI appreciate your completely different world view of obsessive lover, and after reading this I became emotional, it may sound funny but it is true...emotional girl I am :(
The devotion of the possessive lover is unquestionable, now I say after reading this- many crave for such love but few are lucky enough to get such devotion and pyaar.!
And I also appreciate your spontaniety in creativity, just awesome.
So here is a request I make: can I treat this wonderful creation of yours as a contribution on my blog?
If you give your permission of course!
:)
Infact apart from doodling you can also write. Your creations are beautiful :)
Delete