I think this Haiku has a dual tone. One of ecstasy as well as that of betrayal. You've taken the one of betrayal but it's still ambiguous, don't you think?
What I want to portray here is that the girl is waiting, as you said in an elated mood, in the most romantic moment, but in that very moment of ecstasy she is betrayed and her 'to be' best moment becomes her worst moment.
Earlier even I didnt, but once got to know the rules and I started writing it myself, got a hang of it, There is beauty of expression in less words, multiple Inerpretations, and various angles to look at it from a readers perspective. I m sure if you try you will find it interesting.
Nice, short but a good read.
ReplyDeletewallah !! super fantastic ! I tell u .. ur best at it !! :)
ReplyDelete:) :) coming from you, this makes me happy :)
DeleteBeautiful =)
ReplyDeleteThere is a story in those words ! so touching !
ReplyDeleteYes there is a long one, thanx Aziz
DeleteWow! Poignant and beautiful
ReplyDeleteThank you Celestiene
DeleteBeautifully worded the agony of the betrayed one!!
ReplyDeleteThanx
Delete:) hmm, thanx
ReplyDeleteBy moonlight, we generally think of romance. But you have liked moonlight with betrayal, that's interesting. Lovely lines.
ReplyDeleteThats what betrayal is all about, best things become worst.
DeleteThnx
Betrayal is debilitating ultimately affecting both parties with no clear winners! Nicely Kislaya!
ReplyDeleteHank
Yes you are right, its a nightmare one shouldnt have.
DeleteFacing reality is almost always a chilling experience.
ReplyDeleteIt devastates us.
DeleteShort and effective!
ReplyDeleteHmm, thnx
DeleteKislaya like you understand my comics I think I find your poetry next level. So beautiful... loved it
ReplyDeleteRicha
Oh Richa thanx for showering appreciation.. :)
DeleteThnx
ReplyDelete'Shimmering moon & shuddering', beautiful imagery.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteLove the contrast of the beauty of nature and the beastly human nature...
ReplyDeleteYes Reshma, life is full of such contrasts!
DeleteThnx
finally a good haiku from you after a long time
ReplyDeleteThanx Sid, seeing you after so long, keep visiting
DeleteOh this is mysterious and good x I want to know more!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, but I guess for now thats the end of the story.....betrayal!
DeleteBeautifully sad haiku! Nice take on the prompt. :)
ReplyDeleteThnk you Claudia.
DeleteShort but soulful Haiku.
ReplyDeleteAwesome...Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteRegards
:) thnx
DeleteRegards
oh heck...you create an intense image in just few lines..
ReplyDeleteThanx claudia :) I guess haiku is all about this.
Deleteshort, straight and sad but very well expressed.
ReplyDeleteHmm..... thanx
DeleteI think this Haiku has a dual tone. One of ecstasy as well as that of betrayal. You've taken the one of betrayal but it's still ambiguous, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to portray here is that the girl is waiting, as you said in an elated mood, in the most romantic moment, but in that very moment of ecstasy she is betrayed and her 'to be' best moment becomes her worst moment.
ReplyDeleteVisually evocative
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteShort and sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanx :)
DeleteGreat impact with your well chosen words!! Excellent!!
ReplyDeleteThanx so much :)
DeleteWel i dnt quite undstand haikus.....i duno how ppl pull it off.....
ReplyDeleteEarlier even I didnt, but once got to know the rules and I started writing it myself, got a hang of it,
DeleteThere is beauty of expression in less words, multiple Inerpretations, and various angles to look at it from a readers perspective. I m sure if you try you will find it interesting.
Beautiful.
ReplyDelete