I may sound selfish when you finish reading this.
I often wonder the opportunity cost of being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child.
Since the time I have conceived, I have become less productive at work and in general. I have given up on various luxuries like monthly outings and weekend trips as it was not safe initially, and later on due to physical constraints, I did not like to take road trips etc.
In my first and second trimester. I suffered from frequent urticaria*. On consulting the dermatologist she explained that many pregnant women have an onset, due to rising progesterone levels. I was prescribed medicines. I also had to observe my diet every day to notice if any food was acting as an allergen. I was advised against eating nuts and eggs. I was prohibited from going to the park for a walk as pollens also act as an allergen. In short, I had to be extra careful. Once carefree, I felt trapped sometimes.
Before I conceived, I was working on a business plan with my H. This was going great and I had made a decent customer base in a short period of three months. But due to nausea and tiredness, I could not focus much on the business with the same enthusiasm as before.
Due to the care and support needed in the final stages of pregnancy, I took a break from work, business and daily life and visited my parents. There was a shift in location, hence I had to pause everything that was continuing in my life as usual.
Of course, I may restart from where I left, but this also means that I will be behind by a specific number of months compared to those who did not have to take a maternity break.
I often think about the effort and sleepless nights that go in raising a child. I know my H will be equally responsible and family will chip in, but at the end of the day, the crucial role of mother can't be ignored.
There will be a constant juggle between work and home and both needs to be justified with equal effort. Sometimes the effort that we put in as women is treated as a thankless job. In this context, I always think about my grandmothers - their entire life revolved around raising and feeding their kids.
They devoted themselves for their family and usually, no one thought about their individual aspirations if any. This may not lead to positive rewards during their old age as the kind of selfless love they showered on their children may not be reciprocated with the same vigor. Sons and daughter might fulfill their obligation but not with the same affection that they received from their parents (I am not saying that this might always be the case, but such incidents are increasing, else there would be no old age homes).
The world human population is close to 7.7 billion but are we so humane to love our parents esp our mothers with the same intent with which they brought us into the world and raised us to be able individuals.
For mothers - 9 months and beyond - does it justify the opportunity cost she forgoes when she could have been doing so many different things as an individual?!
Please share your thoughts. Did you or your spouse share the same feelings?
Is it okay to think like this?
Am I being selfish?
(These AtoZ Challenge posts pertain to my thought process, physical and mental changes, stress levels, perspective, journey and experience as a first-time mother who has yet not delivered her baby.)
Read A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N
*Urticaria, also known as hives, is an outbreak of swollen, pale red bumps or plaques on the skin that appear suddenly -- either as a result of the body's reaction to certain allergens or for unknown reasons. Hives usually cause itching, but may also burn or sting
